Friday, October 10, 2014

Life, love, death, and where do we go from here?


Seems like I only tap away at the keys anymore when something substantial happens. Not that there is anything wrong with that – it just seems like some of my drive to write has disappeared on me, only surfacing when I have something that I really need to get out.

So here goes.

Today is October 10, 2014. Or, as I will always remember it, 10-10-14. More truthfully, I will always remember it as the day on which the most wonderful woman in my life ventured off on the next stage of her journey.

My mom passed away at 08:55 this morning.

And I am overwhelmed with gratitude.

Which may sound odd – harsh even. But consider this. I had the privilege of spending each and every day for 3 months with mom while recuperating from my broken ankles. 3 meals per day. Visits with each-other that many, if not most adult children and their parents do not have the opportunity to experience. And enjoy.
I mentioned to my friend Alex this evening just how fortunate I am to have broken my ankles.

I love the way the universe works. ‘Cause I gotta say if it were not for that accident I would be stricken with guilt right now about how little time I had made for my mom.

Life gets so busy. And we just get so caught up in it all. Never realizing that which we have missed unless some kindred spirit points us towards that which we did not notice.

I am more fortunate than many – I have learned some of these lessons in a manner which resonates so completely with me that I have incorporated safeguards into my daily life that force me to smell the roses, and see the forests.

The most obvious of those is of course my passion for motorcycle riding. I am the first to admit that riding motorcycles is most definitely a form of self-medicating. I am no longer destroying my soul and everything good that comes near to me, but I am most definitely still self-medicating. And that is as much effort as I wish to put towards pondering that little nugget right now.

Anyhow, back on point – it is through this particular form of self-expression that I also find myself closest to my own personal understanding of God. I feel a connection with the world around me, and the universe when I am riding my motorcycle that is unlike anything I have experienced through any other form of seeking or meditation.

There is a oneness that  I am not well able to describe, at least, not at the  moment.

I am of course, on another motorcycle adventure. Just as I did when my father passed away, I packed up my bike and took off to be with mom. With my thoughts. With God.

And this time, with a friend. My buddy Alex and I planned a long weekend adventure several weeks ago.

 Mom would most definitely been upset with me if I had cancelled it due to her dying. “I am already gone for Christ sakes” are the words I would have heard had I decided to wallow in grief in my apartment.

So instead, I am riding through western Quebec, following some of the roads less travelled. Enjoying the fresh fall temperatures. The vibrant autumn foliage. The incredible awe of the world that surrounds me.

And mom is sitting pillion right behind my.
Smiling from ear to ear.

I love you mom. More than words can say.
Peace.