There was Darkness. . .

Something happened in the fall of 2015 that I never considered possible.

Something so completely out of my left field that had you told me in August that it was coming, I would have laughed out loud.

It is pretty apparent, I believe, that I am a generally happy guy.

Gregarious, some may say.

And why not? I have a lot to be happy about - and grateful for, after all.

Early one morning in late September of 2015, I noticed it was gone.

The happy, easy-to-get-along-with Joe was nowhere to be found.

I was spending way more time than usual 'taking naps'

My bikes sat in the garage through the entirety of the week, and sometimes all weekend long as well.

The things in my life that used to bring me joy, weren't.

Whaddafuk?

It all came to a glaring point for me at 0635 one morning as I was pulling into the parking lot at work and verbally snapped at a client who was not following my direction.

Like I am some kind of authority or some shit.

15 minutes later I was in the HR office asking for the contact information for our EAP, or Employee Assistance Program.

By the end of the day I had an appointment set up.

By the end of the next day I had been diagnosed as suffering from depression.

I'm sorry, what?

Me? Depression? Not friggen' likely. No way. Uhn uh.

That mysterious ailment afflicts other people. People less happy than I am. But not me.

No way it had hit me.

Boy, had it ever hit me.

And everything that I had ever heard about depression proved true: you do not see it coming, you do not acknowledge that it is here and you do not have the energy to do a fucking thing about it on your own.

At least, those were all true for me.

Thank God that I just followed my gut and contacted EAP that morning.

I ended up having to take some time off work, and I attended therapy regularly and followed all of the suggestions given me by my therapist.

And not too much later I was able to return to work.

What a strange, heavy dark cloud it was that had settled over me for a time.

It seems that I had some unresolved issues surrounding grief.

Feelings that I neglected to talk about or share with the people that I love and trust.

Feelings that I had just tried to stuff, or ignore.

Man, you would think that a guy with my past, with my fairly deep understanding of the benefits of talking about what is going in in my life would have done just that.

It is the centre-point of recovery for gods sake!

But I hadn't. Or at least, not enough.

So the message for me - and maybe for you as well - is that I really do need to talk about the things that are going on in my life. Not just the good stuff, or the exciting stuff.

But the shitty stuff too.

The things that pain my heart deserve to be spoken, and I deserve to heal.

I am one of the truly lucky ones. I mean that. I am really, really fortunate.

My dark cloud lifted, and it did so very quickly. If I had to guess, I would say that I truly suffered for no more than 8 weeks.

I came away from the experience with a deeper understanding of depression, and a much greater understanding of how debilitating it is.

I also came away from the experience reminded of something: it is vital, for my well being, that I try to remain grateful every day of my life. And when I feel like things are going shitty, if I simply remember how grateful I am that I did not have to use today, the shittyness seems less significant.

If you, or someone you love suffers from depression please reach out and speak to someone. As the saying goes, the life you save just may be your own.

Peace,

From There to Here

As I mentioned in the previous post, 2016 brought with it a really good riding season for me.

I explored a lot of familiar territory in Frontenac, Lanark and Renfrew counties and I also explored some new areas in western Quebec.

I even took it a step further and explored the most remote regions of an entirely different country.

On an entirely different continent.

I suffered the usual mishaps: lots of low-to-no speed ‘offs’ (this is what we like to call it when we drop our bikes while moving at less than 10 kilometers an hour.)

The most impressive of those was an evening ice-cream stop in the Byward Market with Ryan. We decided to hooligan-park up on the sidewalk beside the Beavertail shack and I promptly dropped Betty to the sidewalk while hopping the curb. My pride wasn’t too sorely injured though – there were only about a hundred onlookers, hahahaha...

Of course the most dramatic of my mishaps occurred on the above-referenced out-of-country adventure.

Myself and 5 other riders met in Quito, Ecuador to take part in one of the incredible adventure-riding packages offered by Ecuador Freedombike rentals.

On day 3 of a 6 day ride I sent my DR650 into a low-side slide at approximately 50 or 60 km/h, which ended in a spectacular high-side and me flying through the Ecuadorian rain forest like a howler monkey.

The bike took a bit of damage. I took a bit of damage. The adventure continued.

You can read all about that trip, and see some pretty great photos here if you wish.

I took part in the Fundy Adventure Rally for the second year in a row. (and broke my 3^rd rib of the season)

I went to the Horizons Unlimited Ontario event and was given the opportunity to present on my Trans-Lab adventure of the year before.

I traveled to the most remote regions of northern and eastern Quebec, completing one of the most iconic motorcycle adventure rides on the North American continent – the Trans Taiga.

I dipped Big Ethel into the frigid waters of James Bay.

I mean, it was a really great season.

I intend to highlight some of last season’s adventures over the next few posts, but I also want to highlight some of the other bits of life that have happened since August of 2015.

After all, it isn’t all rainbows and puppy dogs. Or motorcycles and good times.

For now, know that I am happy here, behind the keys, sharing some of my life with you. I am learning more and more that it is not what we have, but what we give away – or share – that matters most.

You have the luxury of deciding to stop reading whenever the thought occurs.

I have the luxury of having lived, and enjoying the catharsis of writing.

I have had a wonderful day today, and my hope is that you have as well.

Peace.

Here I go again on my own . . .

Man, time sure does fly. . .

It has been a really long time since I last posted to this blog.

Not because I have had nothing to say. In truth I have said quite a lot.

But I was saying it here, on my other blog. A blog that my friend James and I started in late 2015 as an experiment, or maybe a project is a better term for it.

James was looking to expand his skill set at the time, and website design was something that he thought might be fun.

When asked if I would like to have a website created and maintained, basically for free – his guinea pig, if you will – I readily accepted.  I mean, let’s be honest, even if it didn’t work, I’d lose nothing, and stood to gain, well, a really nice website.

And a really nice website is exactly what James created.

A place to host a new blog, write product and equipment reviews, host a photo and video gallery and so much more.

We had about 10 followers that first week – some of you among them.

By the time we go around to posting the blog and video’s of my Ecuador Adventure, we were up to over a thousand.

James created a truly great site for the adventure-interested motorcycle rider, and also for the aficionado of the Dakar rally.

His in depth background, and personable coverage of the 2016 Dakar is, I dare say, amongst the best to be found on the entirety if the world-wide web.

And then, we went quiet.

The 2016 riding season unveiled itself from beneath the receding snow of a winter that came in softly and gently, and became truly brutal in its longevity.

By late April I was itching to ride, and riding is exactly what I did. 

Some 30,000 kilometers rolled beneath my tires before Mother Nature once again forced my hand, and demanded that my bikes be stored yet again while she threw us into another long, cold season of discontent.

It was another great season of riding for me, and it was a great summer for adventure of a different kind for James.

You see he likes Zodiacs in much the same way as I like bikes.

Which is to say that during the warm-weather months James lives on the water.

And so it was that we let the ADVJOE website gather dust. We were both just having way too much fun pursuing our passions to stop and hunker down over the keyboard.

And now, here I am. Back where I started, and in some ways, back where I belong.

You see, I thought, for a while at least, that it would be really cool to have a world class adventure motorcycling website – and in truth it was.

But it takes a lot of work. I mean, it really, really takes a lot of work. And you kinda need to know something about building, designing, promoting, supporting and maintaining a website.

Of which I know very, very little.

So the ADVJOE website will continue to gather a little dust. Not entirely ignored, mind you. I just have to decide what to do with it. I may pare it way down, and simply use it as my motorcycle adventure-related blog site. I just don’t know yet.

I do not have the skills to maintain the website as it is, with all of it's various plug-ins and radio buttons and grapple grommets and filbert flanges.

But I do know how to write. I can put together a fairly interesting blog post, add some interesting pictures, and in doing so satisfy my need to share some facet of my life and my adventure with the world on a very small scale.

And just maybe, satisfy the craving of the odd reader or two for inspiration. Wanderlust. Adventure. Introspection.

A hell of a lot has happened since I last tapped these keys.

Over the coming weeks, and months I intend to share a lot of those happenings with you.

It feels good to be back.

Joe