One of my first lessons, written by an author unknown...

Dear Old Friend

            Hello…….just in case you have forgotten me……I am your disease…

I Hate meetings….I Hate Higher Powers….I Hate anyone who has a program. To all who come in contact with me, I wish you death and I wish you suffering.

            Allow me to introduce myself. I am the disease of addiction. I am cunning, baffling and powerful. That is me. I have killed millions and I am pleased.

            I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending that I am your friend and your lover. I have given you comfort, haven’t I? Wasn’t I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn’t you call on me? And I was there.

            I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet, I love to make you so numb that you can neither hurt nor cry. When you can’t feel anything at all. That is true gratification. And all that I ask from you is long term suffering. I’ve been there for you always. When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said that you didn’t deserve these good things, and I was the only one who would agree with you. Together we were able to destroy all of the good things in your life. People don’t take me seriously. They take strokes seriously. Heart attacks, even diabetes they take seriously. Fools. Without my help these things may not be possible. I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. You choose to have me. So many have chosen me over reality and peace.

            More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a 12 step program. Your program, your meeting, your higher power. All of these things weaken me and I can’t function in the manner I am accustomed to. Now I must lie here quietly. You don’t see me but I am growing bigger than ever. When you only exist, I may live. When you live, I may only exist. But I am here….

            And until we meet again, if we meet again, I wish you death and suffering.