Often times – maybe even most – I have a clear idea of what my posts are going to be about.
Other times it is the act of blogging that helps to clear my head. And sometimes, my heart as well.
Today is July 1st.
Canada Day.
A day of celebration across this great country of ours.
Here in Ottawa, it is pouring rain. Kinda putting a damper on things, figuratively and literally.
And I have spent the day – or most of it , at least, sick in bed. Nausea, headache, upset stomach, diarrhea,…the works.
Which really sucks, as I should have spent the day making sure that I had all of the little details hammered out and straightened away for my upcoming trip, which begins Saturday morning.
As it is, I managed to get my clothing and my camping kit all organized and packed. And yesterday evening Ryan gave me a hand changing the front brake pads on Big Ethel. I planned on pulling her fuel tank and changing the air filter today, but I just don’t have it in me.
None of this though, is what’s really on my mind.
What’s really on my mind is Susie.
You remember Susie, I hope. My best friend, and unrequited love.
Susie found out in May that her cancer had returned. After a full year of being cancer free and enjoying a new, shiny lease on life, fucking cancer has come back to snatch away the happiness and darken the bright light that Susie had once again become.
As you may recall, Susie has stage 4 colon cancer.
It is now in both lungs.
The surgeons operated last Friday. A sizeable portion of her left lung was removed. And the very next day, Susie was sitting up in her hospital bed, laughing and shining like the bright light that she is.
I cannot fathom the strength that this woman has. I stand in utter amazement at her ability to bounce back. And to smile. And to laugh.
We are all scared, her family, her boyfriend, me, her long list of other close friends.
Susie is scared too.
But she rarely shows it. Another testament to her fortitude I guess…
Because I am home and under the weather, I cannot even go visit Susie today. The risk of infection is one that cannot be ignored, nor taken lightly.
We will FaceTime this evening. And in a really fucked up way, the smile of a beautiful woman battling cancer from a hospital bed is going to make me feel better. Not sure what to make of that…
Here are the first 4 pictures added to my Epic East Coast and Trans-Lab Highway Adventure:
Clothing
Clothes Packed
Camp Kit
Camp Kit packed
The rain has stopped. The sky is brightening. I will try to see Susie at least one more time before I leave on Saturday.
And the trip, well, it’s going to be one hell of an adventure. That much I can assure you.
So come along for the ride. We’ll have a time…
Oh, and hey….Happy Canada Day everyone.
Joe
Sorry to hear how awful you're feeling Joe. Being a " glass is half full " kinda girl, hopefully you're getting it over with now so you'll feel 100 per cent come Saturday and the start of what might be your best adventure to date. Beyond disappointing to hear about Susie, I know how much she means to you. Please remember that the fact that you have any type of relationship with someone as awesome as Susie is so amazing. The fact that the two of you have connected during this journey called life is truly a blessing so while your love might seem unrequited, it actually is very requited in the best possible way. Feel better bro.
ReplyDeleteKim
Thank you Kim. As usual, your wisdom finds it's way through my childish ego and right to my heart. You are 100% correct about the blessing that Susie has been and continues to be in my life. I am a lucky, and blessed man.
DeleteHaving you as my older sister only makes it more so.
I love you sis,
Joe
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDelete